Looking at your crushes selfies
next week, issue #4 of Batman Black and White hits stores and It’s a pretty important issue to me. The title itself was a dream project when i was trying to break into comics, it’s also what lead to the prestigious statue line by DC of the same name. I was assigned 2 statues for that line ( Batman and Batman Beyond), but having never gotten to draw a story for it, it never felt complete. So..this is one goal fulfilled.
I feel a lot of people dream of breaking into DC or Marvel to get on a big team book, something top seller, change the industry, and be wildly famous- as did I. But in the end, i found out what made me happiest ( and stress-free), was just telling a few good Batman stories. It’s all i ever wanted to do at DC. Of course, you hear people say that all the time. So, here’s one more i guess.
I’ve drawn Batman before in multiple titles and books, thousands of panels, and sketched him more times than i’ve backed out of my own driveway. But this issue- 8 pages i got to write and draw myself, this is pretty much the milestone for me. After this short story, and this past year’s run of Lil Gotham, if they never let me draw another Batman story again- i think i’ll be okay with that (:
Here’s a page from the story.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s…
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.
6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ’ Mission Impossible’ theme.
11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
13. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
14. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’
One of the Staff passed out.
OMFG I AM SCREAMING.
frizzy haired bored girl
proof that The Beatles were sassy motherfuckers
i hate people who glorify winter there is nothing fun and cute about winter you fuckin wake up and ya piss is frozen in ya dick is that what you want you hot chocolate loving fuck
if Katara doesn’t fight someone and show her goddess level waterbending skills before she dies in LoK I will go to Nick Headquarters and flood it
"OMG I DIDN’T KNOW U WERE GAY"
Ive had 4 attractive guys ask me to hang out tonight. Is this some kind of prank based hioliday I didnt know about?